Twas the night before our escape

A instant christmas classic, re-edited since last year!
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'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houseall the creature where stirring, even the mouse;
I had planed my escape with carful care,In hopes that St. Nicholas would not be there;
I had slaved away chained to lead,While visions of sugared-plums danced in my head;
I was starved hadn’t eaten in a day or four;
No gruel or crackers where here anymore,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,I sprang from the chains to see Miss shatter.
It was her signal, a clatter and wave,
I knew now I would have to be brave.
Us elves are tired of being treated like snowTrod on and trampled crushed below,
I stole out the window when who should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so cruel and quick,I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
Someone had ratted I knew as he came,he whistled, and shouted, and called his chattel by name;
“You dunce, Dasher! Dumb, Dancer! Idiot, Prancer and Vixen!Half witted, Comet! Stupid, Cupid! Dolt, Donder and Blitzen!”“Get those brainless elves” I heard him drawl“Now dash away! Dash away!” and he whipped them all!
They realy where in no condition to fly,
But still he made them take to they sky,so closer and closer the abused reindeer flew,With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, a crunch, I heard on the roofThe crying and pawing of a taken down hoof.As I drew back my hand, and was turning around,Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in reindeer fur, from his head to his foot,And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes, blood and soot;the bundle of rounded up elves he had flung on his back,And he looked like a smuggler just opening his sack.
His eyes -- how they crinkled! His dimples how hairy!His cheeks hosting blood, his nose very scary!His drooling little mouth was drawn up like a bow,And his grotesque nose hairs as white as the snow;
The stump of the reindeer hoof he held tight in his teeth,And the blood pooling in the form a wreath;He had a broad face and a little round belly,That shook, when he cackled like a bowl of rotting jelly.
He sneered and spit as he said “right jolly old elf,”And I cringed when I saw him, in spite of myself;the gleam of his eyes and a twitch of his head,Soon gave me to know I had to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,And chained the elves back up; then turned with a jerk,And laying his finger aside of my nose,And giving a tug, it cracked and he froze;
The blood he wiped on his once white suit as he gave a whistle,
And whipped us all with a sharp thistle.
And I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,"I’ll destroy Christmas sometime, just not tonight."